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Saturday, December 5, 2009


was a VERY long, aggravating day.
When I woke up this morning I felt like crying. My dream was fantastic but I know it'll never come true, so I just need to give up now.
So, I was suppose to have three performances today.
I only had two. Yeah, I was pretty pissed that I got up that early to find out that we weren't performing. I KNEW that we weren't going to but no one said anything so I had to be there. I got there and the stage was DRENCHED. Ugh. After that Talia, Courtney, and I headed to Courtney's house and the mall. I got new jeans and plaid shirt at Pac-Sun! :D
AND we ate with Miss Tiff in the mall :D After that, we went to Courtney's got ready for the 2nd show and performed. Carol of the Bells was freaking FANTASTIC and so was everything else.
AFTER THAT, we went back to Courtney's got ready for the parade and then headed to the studio. I was informed that I was like from like 3 different parents, EVEN THOUGH I KNEW THAT but WHATEVER. The parade went smoothly and I swear, I was about to slap a hoe. The younger girls in company were ridiculous. They're so immature and fucking stupid. THEY INFURIATE ME.
I saw Josh and Ren at the parade! :D

Okay, so this whole me being grounded thing really pisses me off. I have a 79 but I'm going to bring it up. Forreal. SUCK IT, PARENTS.
Whatever, at least Ellen's allowed over tonight and I have like a half hour to get her and what not :P

I'm EXHAUSTED from the day, I just wanna fall asleep now ]:
Oh well. For me being grounded I've had a pretty good day.

And to you, I wish you would just give me a chance. I can help you fill that void that you have, but I'm not going to be here much longer for you. This is just hurting me and I'd rather not be upset all the time.


"The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here"


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